My darling bear

I’ve had my first birthday since you went. June 1st. Same day as Marilyn Monroe. Boo boo bi fucking doo. Last year.. I remember it so well.. I got back from one of our fave gigs – Guildford Gag House. I was doing my last stint of a regular monthly MC gig there. You encouraged me to keep gigging even after your lung cancer diagnosis in November 2017. To be honest, I doubted the wisdom of this (mainly because I absolutely HATED leaving you at home, even for a couple of hours). But now I see that you were thinking of me, looking ahead for me, to my future. You knew that the gigs would a) keep me sane (well, that point is debatable) and b) you instinctively knew that it would keep me connected to the comedy circuit which is my life-line. Not just financially but spiritually. You knew that. My darling, wise, kind, clever TG.

That night I got home and you had bought me a surprise birthday cake – I have a video of you and me, the cake, blowing out the candles and the Happy Birthday sign that lights up in various modes (blurry pic below). Thank God for those precious little videos I have, including our wonderful wedding video which I have safe in our TG & AG box along with the miniature bottles of whiskey in lilac bags we kept in our keepsake drawer. I was a bit tipsy that night, do you remember? I’d been bought a pint by someone in the front row of the terrific Guildford audience (which I downed in one – you can take the girl out of Rock n Roll…). I’ve had such kind messages from various loyal Guildford audience members since. Everyone saw how special you are baby.

I’m back there on December 14th in The Back Room at the Star, where our glorious standup journey started.