I went to have some skin tags removed and a mole check today. Not exactly 84 Charing Cross Road is it but I want you to know I’m taking care of myself. Surreal as I stood there in my pants while she checked my back, arms and legs. I had two skin tags and two moles taken off. I told the nice German lady doctor all about you darling and how you had a great German cardiologist called Sabine Ernst.
Dr Grob and her assistant were really interested in me being a standup. I told them all about you managing me and being my comedy mentor. You are still the funniest person I have ever known. Your ability to mimic is second to none and the silliest, sweetest noises – your pig squeal that made me double up laughing till I cried – and your special, happy, excited dance makes my heart burst thinking about it It may sound strange but I felt strangely confident in my own skin today. In my black M&S basic pants, overweight, grief bubbling up like an underground stream and full of pride that you were my husband, my love. I suppose because the worst that can happen in my life has happened now, so standing in your pants having a mole check is nothing.